25 +1 things I discovered in Egypt

1. I look Japanese. And people will not believe me when I say I'm from England. Or Germany (no matter how good my German was! ) . Or Yugoslavia. Or a faraway land next to the moon.

2. An offer of an Egyptian husband is equivalent to a wolf whistle or car honk in England. Your hand in marriage can be bought for a few million camels. In my case 3 million.

3. Magic carpets do in fact exist. If you're looking for one, I suggest Khalili Bazaar in Cairo, there is one man there who was willing to sell me one.

4. Basins in public toilets are good for sticking your head under to wash the sand out of your hair and assHOSES can double up as showers when desperate. Not particularly classy but it does the trick...so long as no one catches you doing it.

5. There are in fact millions of stars in the sky. I have never seen so many in my life as that night camping in the Black and White desert. If there's one thing that's a must on your bucket list, its to spend a night in the desert. It was truly an amazing experience.

6. Do not trust ANYONE when fully clothed and near a pool. The temptation to chuck you in is just too much. And then you end up having to bring a rucksack full of water as well as sand back home.

7. You can never have too many scarves. But do not be fooled by their cries of 'PASHMINA YOU KNOW...200 LE...I give you good price'...start from 10 LE and work your way up slowly.


8. Sand becomes a staple of your diet. It can be eaten with chicken on suspicious paper 'plates', with bread probably bought on the streets or in welcome 'shaay' tea during a sandstorm on the first day.


9. The 'unfinished obelisk' really is unfinished. I wasn't too impressed with having to climb all those steps in the burning heat to see.......... hah it will remain a mystery to those who did not come up to see it. For your sake I will continue to rave about how stunning and simply wonderful it was until the day comes when you will finally give in to your curiosities and pay the 15LE to see it.

10. Camel rides are very bumpy. What is scary is when they first try to stand up with you on their back or walk down a sand hill or bend down to try and lick someone else's camels..er excretions or try to eat the camel in front (I think I got landed with the strangest hungriest camel) ...hold on for dear life.

11. You can be held prisoner on top of a camel. This is handy for useless tour guides trying to extract tips out of you. The waiting game will continue until you throw money of a suitable amount at him.

12. My camera is not sand proof. I discovered this in the desert whilst tumbling down a sand dune.(It was extremely hard to climb back up) I live to tell the tale. It did not.


13. Smoking shisha is practically a national past time in Egypt, they will smoke themselves to oblivion. For purely the 'cultural experience', I tried it mango flavoured but couldn't see what the fuss was all about. That could possibly also be because I couldn't make my smoke puff out in rings.

14. Egyptians are incredibly friendly. Some a little too friendly. This could be because we stuck out like a sore thumb, even with our attempts at hiding behind our sunglasses and covering ourselves with scarves and ahem other disposable items :P. Anyhow this made a refreshing change from the scowling faces here.
15. The world's best and worst drivers live in Cairo. God knows how they weave in and out of traffic like that. Also, it really is hard to tell which side of the road they are supposed to drive on if any.

16. The horn is a vital source of communication when in your four wheeled monster of a car. It is a crime not to sound it every few seconds. Perhaps 3 honks means I go first, you wait? The traffic is absolutely horrendous in Cairo. If you are trying to cross a wide road then God be with you on this short but dangerous journey.

17. Everything starts ridiculously early. We went for a day tour to Abu Simbel with a wake up call of 2.45am. Sleep was a luxury on our trip, we managed to catch a few hours here and there sleeping on FREEZING overnight trains from place to place. Other than that it was unwanted and unexpected wake up calls at 6am which NO ONE got up to answer. How can you sleep with a big scary man THUMPING on our door? I thought there was a friggin earthquake!
18. Temples are built on a massive scale. You simply don't realise how huge they are until you see them for yourself. Karnak temple was my favourite, just awe-inspiring, you really can lose yourself amongst the towering columns with their intricately carved hieroglyphs.

19. 'Yehla' in arabic actually means 'come come!' Not to be confused with the Manglish or Singlish versions.

20. 2.5 million blocks make up the greatest pyramid of Khufu, each block weighing over 2 tonnes and the whole thing takes 20 years to build? My mind was whirring with how many blocks a day this could be. And its still standing today, some 4500 years later. Fascinating. If I felt small normally, nothing compared to how small I felt on that day up against the mighty pyramids.


21. Inside the pyramids after a very steep long passageway was a small poorly lit room with practically nothing inside, everything probably taken out for the authorities or looted but somehow it gave me a great satisfaction just to be inside the famous pyramids!

22. Desert troopers are fantastic cooks, the meal we had in the desert was the best meal we had in Egypt, possibly because we were so famished to notice after a long long journey out into the middle of nowhere. And no, they weren't just fattening us up for their own culinary experiments though the chanting and dancing round the campfire did seem to suggest so....perhaps they took a liking to ABU and changed their mind :P.

23. Do not bring an ipod along to the temples. It will cause the guards to point at the blue blob on their x ray screen, eye you suspiciously before questioning you about it (how would I know that blue blob was meant to be my ipod?!?! ) and then empty the whole contents of my bag before going back to friendly conversation and once again asking me if I'm Japanese and if I am not I have a Japanese face so I should be Japanese (and could in fact be lying and therefore a liar could easily be a suspect.)

24. Baby Crocodiles are kept as pets in Egypt. And there is huge huge mummified one in the Egyptian museum in Cairo. We had a lovely home cooked meal in a nubian village home where their welcoming gesture was to launch their baby crocodile at you and place it on top of your head. Nice. :)
25. Egypt is a truly beautifully fascinating place with such a charming history and culture, the people are very friendly, things are cheap once you've mastered the art of haggling and it is a definite must for the savvy adventurous traveller. I return with such wonderful memories, stories and I had an awesome time with my fellow Queens and Royal party. I will definitely return there someday.

+1. Always trust that an Egyptian will know better when it comes to reading Arabic. This means you Mel. If an Egyptian says you are reading the paper upside down, he is most probably right. There is no need to argue over it :P


Signing off for now
Queen Cleopatra aka Tat